then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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