i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
