She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize