I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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