What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ugly people sure do ruin things
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
