Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize