i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
