It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
