Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
