My brain says no but my pants say off.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
