you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
