OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
