Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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