DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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