Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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