We named our party play list daddy issues
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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