THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize