I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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