i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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