i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
