watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Your cock deserves a montage
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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