turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my liver is dry heaving
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize