The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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