Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
