Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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