Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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