I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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