Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
