I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
