we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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