Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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