he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
