at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
They are going to name an STD after you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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