The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
