I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
