def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
