I'm drive I can fine osifer
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
