Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
