Umm I'm too high to move.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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