Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
