okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
