I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
