scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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