Sober January is a disaster.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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