just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
