dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize