when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
