I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
