they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
