While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
this will be a night to untag.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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