I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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