That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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