I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
