Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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