You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sorry about my life...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
