Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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