I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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