Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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