her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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