i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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