Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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