she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
