I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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