he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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